


A Delightful Birthday

by scrubbadub



Category: Codename: Kids Next Door
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Minor Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:53:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28296348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrubbadub/pseuds/scrubbadub
Summary: It's the Delightful Children's birthday again. This time, though, the Kids Next Door have something much different planned for the occasion.
Relationships: Wallabee Beetles/Kuki Sanban
Kudos: 17





	A Delightful Birthday

**Author's Note:**

> i had feelings about sector z 😢 had 2 write about it

When they wake up, they are achingly disappointed with the day already.

Today is their birthday. They think this in unison, know it as fact. _My birthday is two months away_ , one voice chimes, but it’s ignored, and the rebellion is swiftly rectified. Today is the day of their delightfulization, their birthday, their absorption into Father’s family--

And they are being forced to spend it with _Nigel fucking Uno_ and Uncle Monty.

Father tells them that this is “a favor for Monty”. They despise the decision, but Father’s wrath scares them more than they loathe Numbuh One, so. They acquiesce, and tell their loving Father they will behave. They are delightful and kind and well-behaved.

 _I don’t WANT to be well behaved--_ another singular thought cut off again, shoved somewhere where it can’t escape, and they move on. 

They are beginning to get a headache. Terrible.

As expected, the Kids Next Door crashed their party. There is a terrible fight, a cacophony of chaos, and the thrill of the chase overtake them. Numbuh One’s pesky teammates arrive and set free the rest of their partygoers, those _wonderful_ children being forced to attend and sing for them, and they grow furious with the increasing mess.

Then their cake is destroyed, _again_ , and they are left cakeless and tired and disappointed and overall _mad_.

Nigel does not leave, though. This confuses them. His teammates move to leave, but take pause once they notice their leader’s hesitance. They ready themselves to take this moment to strike.

They are all cut off before they can begin, though. “Just one moment, Delightful Children.”

“We grow _impatient_ , Numbuh One. You have _ruined_ our birthday and you expect us to _wait_ for you? To do _what_ , attack us again?” They scowl. Their blood boils. There is so much power under their fingertips, if only they could _use_ it properly.

 _We’re scared_ , that voice cries, and they let this thought fly. They will admit that to themselves here in the sanctity of their own mind. There is no shame in fear, but there is shame in admitting it out loud.

“Actually? Quite the opposite. _Now_ , Numbuh Two!” They turn to bear witness to the chubby engineer of Sector V hauling an impressive piece of equipment up from where they’d been hiding it. It almost resembles a gun, but everything the Kids Next Door uses resembles a gun in some form, shape or fashion, so they think they just like to taunt people. It’s the most reasonable explanation they can come up with.

“You got it, Numbuh One! Hold onto your pants, because this ride’s gonna be _bumpy!_ ” The Delightful Children from Down the Lane give a confused groan, but before they get the chance to react, they are hit--

_What’s going onWhere are we goiThisfeelsWRONG--_

“ _HOLD IT STEADY!_ ” They-- there is speaking. They feel so much pain, lightning hot, molecule deep-- _holdittogetherHoldtheteamtogetherYou’re doing a good jobKeepcalm--_

“I’m doin’ my best, Numbuh One, but this thing’s got a _lot of power_!! You try holding a gun with at least a kajillion watts of power running through it steady, see how _you_ do!” Finally, something _gives_ , and they--

Bruce has a splitting headache. He sits up. David sits up and lays a steadying hand on his back, and, for the first time in what feels like forever, there is only the silence of their own thoughts to greet them when they instinctively reach out for each other. Lenny stands up, shaking just a little, and Constance and Numbuh 0.3 are soon to follow suit.

Bruce is the first to speak. “... you remembered us.”

Sector V stands in their various places, gaping, jaws slack, and David can’t help but feel slightly amused. The amusement passes, though, as they destabilize for just a moment, heads full, instincts blaring at full tempo, and then they are themselves again, multiple and safe. “Of course I did. Did you honestly think I wouldn’t remember my cousin’s birthdays?” Nigel Uno smiles at them kindly, but none of them are stupid enough not to see the resignment in his eyes.

“This… won’t last, still, will it?” Constance says. Nigel’s silence is all the answer they need.

“Unfortunately, no.” Numbuh Two speaks before Nigel can get a word in. They listen carefully. “We’ve been working on that, actually-- this is the closest we’ve been able to get to a permanent recommissioning! We figured out that you were never decommissioned, so the issue isn’t recommissioning you, it’s _undelightfulizing_ you! Which is a whooooole ‘nother issue in and of itself, you know, there’s a lot of stuff we don’t even _know_ about delightfulization, but, uh, I, you know, I got off track a little--”

“Get on with it, Numbuh Two, they don’t got all day!” Numbuh 4 chimes in. Bruce finds his bravado a little funny. 

“Okay, okay! Jeez! You don’t have to be so mean about it.” Constance helps Bruce up gently, hands careful. Bruce is so fucking tired. They all are, but Bruce has been holding things together for… well, they don’t remember. It’s been a long time. “ _Basically_ , we bought you until the rest of the day. We’re still working on a more permanent solution, but we figured-- _Numbuh One_ figured that you guys could use a good birthday experience for once. It’s not… it’s not what we really want to give you, which is being out of Father’s grip, that guy _sucks_ , but it’s still somethin’, y’know?”

Numbuh 0.3 smiles and takes Lenny’s hand. Bruce thinks, and Constance speaks. “It’s the best birthday present we never asked for. If we’ve got until the rest of the day… well, there’s only one thing we _can_ do- spend it like we’re dying!” That gets a rise out of the 5 of them, but certainly not Sector V. There’s a couple of strained chuckles, but it’s not funny for them like it is for Sector Z.

Death would be better than delightfulization, anyways, but the coward’s way out is never the way to go. They face their consequences head on, with bravery, like true kids.

“So, Sector Z,” Numbuh One starts speaking, and they direct their attention back to him. “How are you going to spend your birthday today?”

Numbuh 0.3 thinks. Constance suggests something quietly, but then David speaks up, confident. “Let’s throw a REAL party! Something the teens would be envious of!” Bruce agrees enthusiastically, smiling, and for the first time in a very long time, contentment begins to settle back into their chests. They’re still linked, they still feel it the same way they feel everything else, but it’s distant, muted, and something they can cherish.

Numbuh One smiles wide. Numbuh Three hollers in excitement, spinning Numbuh Four around. “We can have balloons and sparkles and party streamers and OOOHH, we can’t forget the presents!! We _need_ music, I have the best playlist for a party, I gotta go get the B.O.O.M.B.O.X.--”

“Numbuh Four, the B.O.O.M.B.O.X. is a high-powered technical weapon, not a party trick!” Numbuh One crosses his arms.

“Aww, come on, don’t be a stick in the mud. Do it for the party throwers?” Constance bats her eyes and Bruce is tempted to swat at her arm playfully for it, but decides not to. It’s been a while since they had fun. 

“Yeah,” Numbuh Five starts. “Come on, Nigel. They only got ‘til midnight, why not trash the place, live a little? ‘Sides, it’ll piss Father off.” Sector V makes varying sounds of exclamation at the curse word and Lenny snickers.

“I-- you can’t _say that_! Come on!” Numbuh Five rolls her eyes but acquiesces to Numbuh One’s spluttering and posturing, and in the chaos Sector Z advances. It feels strange to each of them to move independently, without there being more presence than themselves in their own mind telling them where to go, what to do, how to act-- it’s jarring, but in a good way.

“How’s your dad, by the way?” Bruce says. “Haven’t seen that guy in _ages _! Not that I’ve seen him as he’s huge and old, now, probably, but, uh, I. You know. Still care, I guess.” Numbuh One clears his throat and raises a finger.__

__“One moment. Team! Operation: B.I.R.T.H.D.A.Y. is now fully underway! Numbuh Two, I need you to gather supplies for the birthday bash of a lifetime! Numbuh Five, I need you to contact Supreme Leader and notify him that the Delightful Children have been successfully temporarily undelightfulized, and a celebration can proceed! Numbuh Three and Numbuh Four, you’re on guard duty in case any unruly adults or teens get any bright ideas. Let’s make this a night to remember!” There’s affirmations, and the team scatters off to do their missions. Nigel stays behind._ _

__“... Pa’s okay. He’s, well. An adult, so he’s no fun anymore. We went fishing last week? That was sort of interesting, I suppose. Mostly boring.” Constance nods._ _

__“Fishing’s boring, that tracks. Monty always did enjoy the more mundane things.” Constance says. Numbuh 0.3 chuckles._ _

__“I’m sorry we can’t buy you more time. I promise, we’ll figure out a way to permanently undelightfulize you, one way or another. Father can’t keep getting away with this.” The unspoken ‘you deserve better’ hangs in the air, and they feel it like a tear in their soul. They know they do._ _

__It’s just… hard to admit, sometimes, when the alternative is so dehumanizing._ _

__“We know, Nigel. Trust me, if there’s one thing that’s been keepin’ us from disappearing completely, it’s the hope that you were still in our court-- and look at you! You got us an entire night’s worth of time, that’s better than before! How’d you do it, anyways?” Bruce rests his hands on his hips and ignores the crash that Numbuh Four makes when he barrels through the window._ _

__“We had our best Galactic Moonbase scientists working around the clock to try and figure out how delightfulization works. We’re still nowhere close to figuring out how Father did it, but we were able to get a good grasp on how it works conceptually- hence getting far enough to buy you this much time. Hopefully we’ll be able to figure it out soon. You don’t deserve to be stuck like this.”_ _

__It aches even more to hear out loud. The tension breaks before they can let it build, though, and there’s a thunderous roar from outside. A ship lands and, suddenly, there are more children than they’re able to count barreling in through the windows and doors, bearing hastily wrapped gifts, banners, and party items. Numbuh Three is cheering as she follows them inside, and Numbuh Four is swept in through the crowd._ _

__The Galactic Leader of the Kids Next Door steps in and takes a knee, bowing his head. “When we heard the good news, we had to come. I’m honored to finally meet you.”_ _

__“Jeez, you’re makin’ us feel like gods or somethin’, haha…” Bruce rubs the back of his neck, embarrassed. Candace pats his back, and Numbuh 0.3 offers a hand to the Galactic Leader. Taking it, they hug, and jealousy strikes through Bruce’s heart. All of their hearts, in unison, and the Delightful Children twitch in their slumber. They suppress it and move on._ _

__The party is good. Great, in fact. It’s wonderfully chaotic, and at some point, they capture Count Spankulot after he attempts to crash the party, having heard there was a congregation of “naughty children in need of a lesson”. They play pin the tail on the donkey with him._ _

__It’s _catharsis.__ _

__For once, they get to share their cake. It’s not a perfect cake. It’s lopsided, there’s too much icing on one side, and there’s far too many candles to be truly safe, but it’s endearing in its imperfections. Candace eats too much of the cake and has to sit down, and Numbuh 0.3 comforts her through her regret. Bruce and Larry get caught up in telling stories, and David mingles, socializes, finally breaking out of his shell after being in it for so long._ _

__The children all leave before midnight, of course, and their headache collectively grows as the minutes tick closer. Sector V stays to help clean up, and when that’s finished, they retreat back to their ship-- all but Numbuh Three._ _

__She holds out a gift. Bruce takes it gingerly. “Don’t open it until later! I want it to be a surprise!” Numbuh Three bounds off, then, retreats out through the window, and they watch her go._ _

__Finally, they sink back into submission, blinding light and electric haze, and they are delightful once more. The mess is no longer fun. It’s _annoying_. Father will be displeased with them._ _

__In their hurried frenzy to start cleaning, though, they trip over the final present. “Hmm…”_ _

__They were instructed to open this _later_. Of course, it could be a trap… _Numbuh Three is too kind to do that_ , a voice provides. It’s louder than it’s been in years._ _

__They all agree on that. Numbuh Three is a formidable foe, but she is kind-hearted. It’s her one weakness._ _

__Picking the box up, they contemplate. “Since it is still technically our birthday… and Father will not be home for longer still… we _suppose_ opening this couldn’t hurt…”_ _

__The present is opened, and a bright pink, soft Rainbow Monkey stares back at them lovingly. For just a moment, they are themselves again, Numbuh 0.1, 0.2, 0.3, 0.4 and 0.5, individually flattered and grateful, and then the feeling submerges, leaving behind a curious stinging in their chest. It hollows out the space where their heart should be and replaces it with an ache._ _

__… Father does not have to know about the Rainbow Monkey, they decide. It’s frivolous, but it’s not a distraction. Therefore, it is allowed._ _

__They also decide that, despite the challenges, today was a good birthday. Sector Z wholeheartedly agrees._ _


End file.
